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December 2nd, 2008

10:34 am - 012 i'm beginning to think i'm not cut out for this education malarky. Or that I should've at least taken a year off this year and just worked and concentrated on doing loads of youth work stuff with oonagh. I dunno. I'm starting to reeeeeeally dislike tech. Like i love the people, and most of the classes I really enjoy but the whole having to draw x, y, z and being forced into doing stuff I'm not all that interested in doing is really getting to me. Plus the back of my mind is constantly telling me that i really don't have to be here if I don't want to. Idk. Like, art and stuff. Before I left dominican I was kind of fed up with a level alone and I wondered if I really wanted to do soild art and I hoped this year would kind of make me realise I'm alright at art and I love doing it BUT it's only really throwing me the other way. I'm debating with myself whether or not to go to uni next year. Because there's really not a single course I feel a particular draw to and I don't want to end up leaving because I feel like I have to with all this debt and whatever. I'm thinking I could take 'another' year out, move out of the house, get a better job and just do all the stuff I wanted to do to begin with. Or I could just drop out now, because part of me reallyreally doubts i'm going to pass this year. Like even now I'm in class but I'm not doing anything I'm updating a stupid blog. Aidan and I are on weird terms again. Can't cope with that really. And bouncer is being annoying. I don't want a relationship ever. Like actually. I have come to that conclusion that it is just something I'm not designed for. Which is okay I guess. I've never really been that maternal or whatever. Maybe I should be a nun. My mum thinks I should be a nun. I had a dream the other night I was at a swimming pool and I got out of the water and found my mum sitting at the side with her leg amputated. and she made some joke about her being a stone lighter and I burst into tears. I dunno what is going on in my head. randomrandomrandom. Help? Current Location: tech (illustration department) Current Mood: confused Current Music: radio one Tags: future, life, relationships, tech, you're an emo

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November 9th, 2008

08:55 pm - 011 everything has gone to the fucking dogs. Current Location: hole of depression. Current Mood: distressed Tags: everything.

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September 24th, 2008

09:43 am - 010 so. hello i'm in tech. it's a wonderful place. They don't ban us from every site in the history of everything so I'm able to update lj yay. Hello, hope you all are well. I'm sick. I think I have the cold or the flu or something that makes my head hurt and my nose feel like it weighs FIFTY STONE. We have life drawing in an hour or so buuut i don't know if there's going to be any neekid men as last time we had to draw a chair. I hope there isn't really because i will have a GIGGLE FIT. Immature. Uckkk SICK. omg i forget how to make a good lj entry. or at least an interesting one. I miss everyone ): like actually miss them like a limb. I didn't think it would be that bad with everyone swanning off to uni but it really is. it really. is. My support/drinking/socialising/loling/girly network has FLED and like caitlin and stuff will be leaving for BRISTOL this weekend as well. whhaaaaaaaat. Not that it would matter if everyone was young free and avaliable since I AM NOT. Limavady has EATEN MY SOUL. I don't even want to do art anymore. I am sick of it. sick. of. it. THOUGH i did get taught how to use a sewing machine yesterday. and develop my own photos. random. Current Location: college Current Mood: sick Current Music: SILENCE. Tags: blah blah, college, emo, life, sick, whiney whore

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May 26th, 2008

02:03 am - 009 Alleged Father: I have a metal detector in the back of my police car. Me: how lovely for you Alleged Father: I'm bringing it home tomorrow. Me: again, how lovely. Alleged Father: I think you know why. Me: ... oh shit. Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: ditzy Current Music: Have I Got News For You Tags: family, father, life, piercings in bad places

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February 25th, 2008

05:03 pm - 008 GOD WHY AM I SO ANGRY AT EVERYTHING. MY 50P BRA BROKE. LIFE JUST ISN'T WORTH LIVING ANYMORE. EDIT: OH MY GOD I JUST BURST INTO TEARS AT NEIGHBOURS. HOLY FLYING FUCK. Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: angry Current Music: Newsround Tags: go diaf, life, omg, urgh

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February 12th, 2008

09:02 pm - 007 you know there is a god when you go up to pay for a nice bra with a price tag of fiver and they charge you 50p. Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: people's flashboxes on bebo Tags: bras, life, there is a god

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February 4th, 2008

08:29 pm - 006 Aidan: Would you stop flirting with girls? Laura: Would you stop flirting with boys? Aidan: WHAT. Aidan: Look Laura. You don’t like muff. Laura: NEITHER DO YOU. Aidan: I think you like it rough and dirty. Laura: Do you like it rough and dirty? Aidan: Oh yeah. Laura: … Aidan: With you. Laura: You know I don’t have a cock righ- oh hello mum. Mum: … Aidan: her boobs just look all firm and … Laura: how can you make that sound gay? Aidan: WHAT. Laura: Like. That’s pretty heterosexual but you make it sound gay. Aidan: Laura. FUCK. OFF. Just because you like girl bits. Laura: AND NEITHER DO YOU. Aidan: Laura. I am as straight as a ruler. Laura: Straight as a ruler that’s done a 360 and gone back up it’s own arse Aidan: FUCK. OFF Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Still on Sweeney Todd Tags: aidan, come out of the closet dear, conversations, telephone, trying to out aidan

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January 28th, 2008

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January 27th, 2008

03:39 pm - 004 there's a hole in the world like a great black pit and it's filled with people who are filled with shit and the vermin of the world inhabit it Oh god I dislike Sundays rather a lot. I think we should all have a tradition were we DO SOMETHING on a Sunday. I don’t give a shit what it is but bleeding hell ANYTHING. A movie or dinner or a walk or knifing people or a trip somewhere or the pub or a heist or shaving people but then slitting their throats and baking them in pies or just a CUP OF TEA AT SOMEONE'S HOUSE ): Just an idea. I got the bus to Portstewart last night and when it stopped at the prom this group of fourteen and fifteen year olds were waiting and shouting and gowling and whatever then these three boys got on the bus with their rather large ginger mate hanging off them apparently blocked off his face. Yay for the new generation of street drinkers. boy #1: naw mate I swears it like he just fucked his head off those steps there rite and he needs to get back to his ma in portlush like, alright? bus driver: Get off my bus. It was very funny. Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Sweeney Todd Soundtrack - No Place Like London Tags: life, movies

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January 22nd, 2008

08:29 pm - 003 ah ha! finished! mwuhhahahaha! Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Stiff Dylans - Ever Fallen In Love Tags: art

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January 20th, 2008

05:09 pm - 002 I'd rather be drawing than writing essays. But now you've got to write essays for art so people can pretend it's intellectual ): Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: procrastinating Current Music: I'll Never Tell - Buffy Soundtrack Tags: art, school

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January 19th, 2008

07:34 pm - 001 can't believe I'm back to this bollocks. ahahahha. Current Location: bedroom. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: BBC iPlayer - Interview with RTD Tags: entry the first, random

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